Children from a very young age are permanently in a learning process of thousands of topics, one very important is that which has to do with behaviors that are acceptable and those that are not. One of our most challenging tasks as parents, is precisely to mark these limits that they will continuously try to cross. And there are some behaviors of children that parents should never tolerate, for their sake, for ours and for the people around us.
How to act against children’s misconduct
Sometimes some parents are a little softer because of the same behavior that perhaps previously generated a strong reprimand depending on where they are or the mood they have at that time, thus giving the children a confusing message. It is important to always react in the same way to the same behaviors if we really want them to be clear that they are not acceptable under any circumstances.
Normally, we should often be marking our children with inappropriate behaviors in various ways, however, there are some behaviors in which we must be particularly consistent and not let them go under any circumstances, since they can become a real problem for them, for us. as parents and for those around them.
If since they begin to appear, we stand firm and determine relevant consequences for them related to what happened, it will be much easier for them to grow as they avoid them.
Behaviors that cannot be tolerated
And what are those behaviors that are intolerable? These are six behaviors that parents should be more attentive to.
1 Take things that are not yours
Understanding that there are things that, although they may like them very much, do not belong to them and cannot take them, is indispensable because it has to do with understanding what respect, honesty and honesty are.
If we find our son with an object that is not his we must, in addition to talking with him, ask him to return it and make sure he does. This is not always easy, but it is the right thing and they should understand that.
2 Making fun of those who are different
It is normal for the little ones to ask when they see another child other than them (for any disability or for something in their physical aspect that attracts their attention), but what is not acceptable is that they point it out, make their astonishment known and above all that tease or make jokes about it.
Our job is to help them understand that in the end we are all equal and must be respected and accepted, develop in them sensitivity and empathy towards each other, understand differences and appreciate them Basically develop values that make them become good human beings heart.
In this case, more than a consequence, it is necessary to model from a very young age the inclusion and acceptance of those who are different, making them see how bad they can make the other feel, as well as continuously looking for opportunities to live naturally with different people . Movies and stories can be a good way to work on the subject as well.
3 Annoy others for no reason
Obviously children continually fall into conflict with their peers for many reasons, when they want to get the attention of an adult, play with the same toy, when they disagree on who won a game, etc. However, if we see that our child bothers or hits other children (or a particular child) for no reason, it is important to question what is happening and act immediately.
If such a situation arises when we are certain there is no reason, it is important to try to understand what motivates this behavior. If we discover that there is some kind of rejection or aggression without a clear reason, we need to talk to our son and try to find out what it is, ask him to write and make an apology that causes him to act like that. Make sure to deliver it to the child who has been personally attacked.
(If this behavior is repetitive, it may be necessary to see a specialist who discovers what is leading our child to have these aggressive behaviors).
If we observe or report to us at school that our child is excluding a playmate, it is important to curb the situation as soon as possible and start working to develop awareness, empathy and sensitivity in it.
Basically, after talking to our son, it’s about making sure the situation has stopped and hasn’t come back. Now ask him to be the one who joins the boy who is asking his question now, and make sure that he is not left out again.
5 Hitting, breaking objects when they are angry or disrespecting their parents or some authority figure
It is difficult for all children (and even for us as adults) to manage our emotions, but there are some that are very temperamental and explosive, so that when they are angry they scream, they hit those who are close and even break the objects that generate their anger . These behaviors are not acceptable and we must work on them as soon as they appear.
The consequence depends on the age of the child and the intensity of the event. It is essential to wait until he is calm to talk to him and analyze the situation calmly, give him strategies to handle anger the next few times he faces an equal situation, such as taking time out, breathing, saying how he feels, etc. as well as defining a relevant consequence for him, such as losing some privilege he enjoys a lot for a while (until these situations stop showing up).
For the elderly, it is possible to establish a way to restore what they broke up by allocating part of their savings or defining some work at home that generates a “symbolic income” to cover the cost. In any case, the important thing is that the severity of these behaviors is highlighted so that in the next few times they will be able to self-regulate and have less intense reactions.
6 Behaviors that have to do with your body image
With this type of behavior we mean, for example, eating with your mouth open, coughing in front of others without covering your mouth, sucking your clothes, continuously putting your hands to your nose, etc. These behaviors, although they do not seek to harm or generate discomfort in the other consciously, do bring rejection that may eventually become a difficult situation to cope with. Therefore, it is very important to solve it as soon as possible.
More than a consequence, in this case we require an important effort first, to discover what is generating these behaviors, since it can be a matter of anxiety and in that case seek help. In any case, we must make it clear to you immediately and make you aware of the negative impact that these behaviors generate on others, helping you to understand why and the possible consequences as surely your classmates will not want to be close.
It is important that we be clear that many of the behaviors our children adopt may be modeled by ourselves, so we cannot ask them to change them if we do not do it first.